Four Mechanical Works

Picnic

Our standard poodle loves my father.

Their first child was conceived in Kentucky. No chainsaws were required. Cuban cuisine was enjoyed afterward.

The ability to love is a powerful thing.

Pigeons

This pigeon is the reincarnation of my ex-stepfather.

This pigeon is gone now. Just up and flown away. Sort of like him.

I hear he’s working at a sanctuary for big cats in Henderson, Nevada.

There are pigeons everywhere now.

I hear he still hates the rain.

Crime

I study the tragedy of the American male in my bedroom.

The Torso Killer, The Killer Clown, The Preppy Killer, The Green River Killer, The Coast-To-Coast Killer, The Freeway Killer(s).

A desktop computer. A pile of library books on my nightstand under the gold watch I got for my Bar Mitzvah.

Jonestown, Ruby Ridge, Waco Siege, Oklahoma City, Columbine.

These tragedies keep me awake. Like a pot of coffee or a bottle of study drugs or a bag of cocaine. Or just a really bad movie.

A strain of depression stuffed down my throat like a wad of socks––you could put your hand down my throat. And grab it.

The Refrigerator Disorder

Wait––were you just talking about her?

Well, welcome to my biggest failure.

I mean, I probably suffer from a Refrigerator Disorder.

My jokes are terrible, but that’s why she chose me, that’s why she loved me. She picked me out of a crowd of comedians. I’m just kidding. I’ve been sarcastic my whole life.

I only wanted to wrap a nice bow around us. But that’s impossible now.

Yes, I destroyed that.

No. My body destroyed that.

Then my buddy had her, and I was devastated.

And then I started to look terrible––this isn’t a secret, please don’t look at me.

I miss her, I’m not afraid to show it, I’m not afraid to shout it, I miss her refrigerator.

My decisions sometimes make no sense.

And I haven’t eaten since yesterday afternoon. Because I’m trying to get thin.

Thin again. For the next girl. Next week.

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Earlier versions of these works originally appeared in print, Issue 6.

Myles Zavelo lives in London. His writing has appeared in Joyland, Grand Journal, Alaska Quarterly Review and elsewhere.